Week 26 to 31 June and Au Revoir to France

The happy couple

Best bridal table in France!

June started off with another visit from the Stormans which, in itself, was special enough, but it also included a wedding! Long story short, to pull the mini Stormans out of their very exclusive school a few days before the actual holidays began, they had to give the school a very good excuse.  This excuse manifested itself into a wedding; Big A’s and mine.  We didn’t know this until they arrived but luckily for us all, the white lie was easy to go along with as we’d already organized a street party as part of “Fête de Voisins” the day after they arrived. It is an old village tradition in France whereby the town hall gives the villagers tables and chairs and you sit outside inviting neighbours and friends to join you for food and wine.  The Schmiddies organized it all and as they now live downstairs in the cave, it was effortlessly pulled together with about 20 guests.  I cooked Thai Green Chicken Curry and everyone bought something to contribute.  Unbeknown to us, Mrs Schmiddie’s sister arrived with a couple of bouquets of flowers from a wedding she’d attended the day before, so the scene was set.  We even got the mock service officiated by someone associated with the town hall and a photo of the evening appeared in the Valbonne news!  It was a fabulous night.  

Our gorgeous Le Fete de Maison hosts

Bumchinya & Storman

The Stormans stayed for a week and we went to the beach, ate at Café Des Arcades (a lot), went for a day trip to the caves just beyond Grasse and generally had a great time catching up with them.  I even drove to Cap 3000 with Bumchinya. Cap 3000 is a large department store about 20 minutes from Valbonne and houses stores like Galaries Lafayette, H&M and Kooples.  It is a great place to drive to as the car park is open air and you can get into it and park without having to do a 3 point turn at each corner.  Otherwise it’s a place to avoid as it is really busy and full of high street sameness. 

Godmother and hubby in Nice

We had some lovely surprises in June when one of my best friends and her hubby came to visit for a long weekend.  Not only was it fabulous to share a few days with a close girlfriend having a wine and some great food in the square but it also gave us the opportunity to do the Valbonne to Biot walk through the brague. At least that should've shut Big A up a bit as he keeps complaining that neither I, nor the girls, ever want to do the 10km walk by the river.  But of course it won't last and before we know it, he will find something else to moan about.  We also had a visit from my godmother (GM) and her hubby.  My GM has lived overseas for most of my adult life so she has always been an inspiration to me to travel and live a big life full of adventure.  We only had dinner but as usual the time spent in their company was invaluable.  As we toy with the idea of staying in London, my GM and Paul only reenforced the excited of continuing the adventure by staying abroad a bit longer. It was a really great night.

    

Bumchinya's floral garland on Little A

June was also a time to meet some new people, the Waltons.  These guys are about 5 kids short of their TV namesakes… but I think the 2012 Mrs Walton has enough at 2, a boy and girl. What a lovely family and because they were Queenslanders living abroad, had been in France since the beginning of 2012, were living in Valbonne Village, their children had attended Ebica school and, in August, will be living in our village townhouse, we had a lot in common.  This included our fondness for the Schmiddies, so suffice to say we spent a lot of time together.  Mr Walton works every second month abroad so it was interesting hearing about his job managing an off-shore oil rig and what life in Uzbekistan is like.  I developed a real admiration for Mrs Walton as she told of her challenges in setting up her family in France without a word of French two days after her husband took off for work.  She was truly an inspiration for anyone who wants to mix their life up a bit and take a chance on a new adventure.  I’m sure she’ll do something the whole world will think is amazing one day and I hope to be there to toast her good fortune.  

Two of our high-lights included the bonfire night called Fête de la St.Jean and Le Fete de Music (or something like that).  Unfortunately for our rock star landlord we couldn't muster the energy to keep up and so, although making all the promises to "be back down in a minute", we retreated to the big house and left him in his cave to take his girl and head off to the gigs without us.  We did get the chance to hear some of the things that go on around the village and most of it was good.  Le Fete de Music is basically where anyone can grab an instrument and play.  In our confined village this could have been disastrous (and if replicated in Australia, where we are almost American with overinflated views of ourselves, I'm sure it would have been).  Luckily only the talented in France step out, instrument in hand.  The other festival, Fete de la St. Jean is a pagan tradition whereby the locals walk through the street with live fire on the end of a batton and through the barton into a huge bonfire.  After a while, led by the Major, the villages are allowed to jump over the burning mass ... all in the name of giving good luck for the crops that year.  Big A decided to watch the football while I was left with Middle and Little A.  Unbeknown to me, someone gave them both a live baton and Little A nearly caused a 000 call (although in France it's 112).  It was very funny and I need to thank Mrs Walton for taking my girls for a jump over the bonfire when I, wisely I think, decided my sheer maxi dress might just not make it!!!!  Middle A was once again our brave little soldier going over twice, whilst Little A at the last minute decided to watch with mummy.  I'd love to show you the photos ... but I didn't take my camera so Mrs Walton if you're reading this.......(here are some photos provided by Mrs Walton..

Live flame in hands of 9 & 6 year olds...

and off we go in the most dangerous parade ever!

Hundred of live flames into big wood heap = big fire

The finale.. jumping over the once big fire.

The Waltons had a taste for the fine bubbles, so after our first dinner together where we “pushed the boat out”, I retreated back to my €3.50 carafe of rose and left them to it.  When you are on a $300 a day budget, you can’t really afford to purchase $60 bottles of champagne!  We all had a number of great days in the square including an oyster and champagne dinner with a couple of the Schmiddies friends – the Count and Countess of the Caribbean.  Yes real blue bloods with such great stories.  In fact the one thing you are guaranteed in Europe is that everyone has a story and most of them are tremendously interesting.  So Big A and Mrs Walton sat down to hear wonderful tales of A list celebrities visiting their 5 star hotels over the years.  They were very humble with it and I know made a big impression on Big A who just loves hearing a bit of dirt about the “polished” and “posed” glitterati. 

Friends of Vignal Tennis Club

There were also a few sad notes in June, not just because we had to leave but also because our tennis club was sold to someone who had visions of developing it (boo) and our girls got caught up in some rather nasty bullying.  It had been escalating over the months but we had put it down to girls being girls and a bit of jostling over friends and popularity.  There were only a few girls involved but they were nearly all in Middle A’s class and a few were sisters.  I will refrain from going into the details as I don’t want it to dominate this update but we became so uncomfortable about the whole situation including the girls, school and parents, that we ended up pulling the girls out of school early.  Unfortunately this meant that they missed their end of year concert that promised to be a magical afternoon; but we didn’t feel we had any other option.  Not being at the concert gave rise to a lot of discussion and afterwards mothers rang me and came to our house to support our decision.  They said they’d been aware of the issues with these girls and that it wasn’t just our girls being picked on, there had been many others. They also told us that the bullying girls would be leaving the school a week early so Middle and Little A returned to school for the last two days to say goodbye and end the year on a high. We’ve moved on and have only happy memories of Valbonne, but at the time it was the darkest days we’ve ever spent as parents and the first time my girls ever saw their mother sob.  

House sitting - French Villa Style

So onto lighter things.  We ended our time in Valbonne with a fantastic four days housesitting for the Kritslammers while they were away visiting family.  This included looking after their amazing pool, two dogs, three cats, six sections of grass and one strip of ivy.  In between feeding, weeding and watering we invited the Schmiddies over for a seafood lunch and swim.  Mr Schmiddie got the guitar out and demonstrated some of the talent that saw him catapulted to fame in the 70’s with the punk band, The Physicals; and Mrs Schmiddie, already a stunner, showed us just how she captured the heart of her punk rocker following a session of hair and makeup by Little A.  In fact we all had a session with Little A, but we all agreed Mrs Schmiddie’s results were the most……  breathtaking!  With a little tear and very heavy of heart, we said our goodbyes to the Schmiddies, Valbonne Village, the Brague, Vignal Tennis Club and all the people we’d met during the past 5 months and headed off to Italy.  

The end of June was my dad’s birthday, unfortunately I never know what to get him when I live an hour away, so the task of buying him a present he’d appreciate from 10,000kms away was an impossible task.  So I sent him a card (that he still hasn’t got) and the girls sent him an email – oh and we called.  I’ll make it up to him in August when I have an equally challenging task of finding a present for my mother’s 70^th.

Big A's perspective to follow....

BIG A

Jesus…another wedding…I would have more enthusiastic to have another handbag in the house!

Thanks Stormans !

However, as it turned out having the “Le Fete du Maison” street party on at the same time (and a huge quantity of pastis, champers, beers and wine!) made the whole wedding thing seem like almost a ‘normal’ thing to do….and the Child Bride is a little cracker of a girl and I still consider myself a lucky boy…so what the hell! I have very little recollection of the evening or the bouquet of flowers that just appeared from nowhere…although I do remember the ‘vicar’ who was very solemn, calm and succinct….…if only the real wedding had been this quick…on top of a Santorini mountain in 40 degrees listening to priest babble on in Greek for what seemed like days! On another note..I must have been hammered but not as much as Jacques must have been …Jacques is a good looking guy in his 60’s that plays a lot of tenis, including tournaments, has a beautiful wife and is apparently destined to be the next Mayor of a nearby village (a very special position in France). Jacques speaks very little English and unfortunately for him we began to talk about tennis at the Vignal tennis Club and then just kept going, discussing all manner of things including how he was a champion rugby player in Paris before he went on national service in North Africa, how he came to be in the South of France, The Brague (always the Brague!), the upcoming French presidential election, the Russian problem on the Cote D’Azur and his love of tennis. The Schmiddies and Child Bride were particularly impressed with this although I’ve no doubt poor Jacque was very forgiving of my imperfect French and spoke very slowly for my benefit.

Once again it was great to see the Stormans…..I derive no end of amusement from observing Mr Storman who is an absolute fruit-cake obsessed with buying plastic crap from the cheap, plastic crap shops and constantly on the go….taking him to the beach and watching him try to sit still for longer than 30 seconds is fascinating and very amusing. In 2 hours at the beach he had taken the kids for a walk up and down the beach twice, scoured the beachfront shops for plastic crap and acquired various beach toys and the poshest beach mat I’ve ever seen and found a place to eat lunch….all without ever having actually got his feet wet!

The presence of Bumchinya and her black Harrods card obviously prompted Billie to take to the roads in Reggie Renault for only the second time ever…what that woman will do for a shopping spree is truly amazing. I doubt she would have driven me to the hospital if I had needed to go but  give her the chance to drive to the shops …..this was not an opportunity for her to miss!

Art Investors United Inc

Along with our new found friends The Waltons we seemed to spend most days in the company of the Schmiddies drinking, eating and talking…just wonderful. Papa Walton kinda reminded me a bit of Mr Storman…doesn’t like to sit still and is always looking to invest in something. His lime green running shoes were a sight I shall never forget! Mama Walton was just lovely and a very easy person to spend some time with. On one particular occasion we spoke to the Count of the Caribbean for what must have been hours one evening…what an impressive story and humble guy. His stories of managing a boutique hotel on an remote Kenyan Island and world famous celebrity hotel in the Bahamas and the endless list of A-listers that stayed there was fantastic. Spending ones time between an island in the Bahamas, a small village in Wales, Virginia (USA) and Valbonne seems like a pretty cool way to spend your life to me! 

As for the bullying episode…we had previously had a really good relationship with the parents of the kids involved. He was a massive rugby and golf fan and seemed like a genuinely really nice guy. She too seemed really nice albeit a bit ‘out there’. But both were extremely busy and what was truly disappointing to me was that she seemed to be far more focused on managing the perceptions of her peers regarding the bullying episode than actually dealing with the bullying itself. I do know that is was comforting to the Child Bride that a handful of parents confirmed that their kids had been bullied too and supported what we had done. I am proud of the Child Bride and for what we did and honestly believe we raised an ugly issue that nobody else was prepared to raise and as such the parents and the school are now in a much better place to identify and deal with it.

However, having your children and wife so upset and crying their eyes out is a very sobering experience….my primary job is fundamentally to look after them and this trip was all about positive experiences wasn’t it? With hindsight would I manage it differently next time?…yes…but would I do it again?....absolutley. Kids must trust that when they tell their parents they are being bullied that their parents do something about it. Otherwise the kids will internalize it and wont tell their parents anything.

My final morning jog in the Brague before we headed off to the Kritslammers to house sit was a very sad affair. I had taken to jogging up their in the hills above the Brague every morning and as much as I derive no pleasure from exercise I loved my morning jaunts in the Brague…I cant explain why. So on my final jog I did feel a definite pang of sadness as this would no doubt be the last time I would jog there…well I would have if a giant, vicious cocker spaniel hadn’t tried to eat me!  Monsieur Le Marquis De La Brague has left the building! Lets hope the people of Valbonne look after her for future generations to enjoy as I have.

The same must be said of the Vignal Tennis Club. I doubt I will ever join another tennis club. That club was just perfect. You could be playing on a court with the Prince Of Belgium on one side and a bunch of rowdy of 5 year olds on the other. So not pretentious or snobby. So not posh. So relaxed. I do hope the new owners maintain those characteristics, as the character of the place is just wonderful.

The Kritzslammers are another fantastic family. Father Kritslammer is an impossible guy to dislike. He is so enthusiastic and positive and full of beans. And the way he manages the household whilst the wife is out working is truly amazing…mowing and watering the 14 sections of their vast lawn, managing the fruit trees, cutting his own hair….their is no end to his talent…but I’ve no doubt the stress of having to constantly make dinner reservations and order takeaways will finally take its toll and force him to build a functioning kitchen in his house after 2 years!

As for Mother Kritslammer …what a gem. So easy to spend time with and willing to pay herself out and her husband. Who else would go to France and work as a doctor without actually understanding any French! That’s guts! There is absolutely no side to this couple – what you see is what you get. The way they left the UK and set up a life in France, first in Chamonix and later in the south is truely inspiring. I genuinely really enjoyed the time I spent with them and their daughter was just a beautiful girl – exactly the sort of girl that any parent would want their daughter to hang out with.

The time we spent house-sitting for the Kritslammers was wonderful although I’m sure the animals have psychological damage from the constant attention  our kids! The seafood lunch we had with the Schmiddies was fantastic and after a great day watching Monsieur Schmiddie revert to him former glam rock days, complete with tight pants and makeup it was with more than a little sadness that we said our farewells.

I was genuinely extremely sad to be leaving France. I adore the place and would love to retire there. The weather; the language; the countryside; the villages; the water and the people…..Merci France; J’adore. Je vais revenir. Now to conquer Italy!