Pana Shot

Pana Shot
Hippy Fish on St Jon's Beach

Thursday 19 January 2012

Weeks 5 & 6 - London


The trip from Heathrow to Chiswick was cold but hassle free as we know this route so well.  It was wonderful to see Stormin (aka Pippy Long Stocking) , Bumczyna, Zar and Pickle.  They looked as gorgeous as ever and hadn’t really changed since 2008 (Bumczyna hasn’t changed since I first met her 12 years ago). The only two remarkable differences were the house – all 7 floors of it - which had been completely renovated since our last visit and Stormin who is in training for the London Marathon and therefore super lean (bastard!).  
We sat around all night catching up and the next day lapped up the fact that we didn’t have to get up and go do stuff.  I personally loved the fact that Big A and I were no longer the source of Middle and Little A’s amusement and they happily played in Zar and Pickles room in the attic (6 floors away).  It was the first time they had been further than 5 metres from us in 4 weeks.  
Middle A, Pickles, Little A and Zar.
New Year's Dinner
New Year’s Eve was just lovely as Stormin and Bumczyna had been out to Harrods to stock up for a very special feast.  Beforehand we had ventured up to the Lyric Theatre to see the Panto “Aladdin” and then headed home where Stormin put the final touches on the NYE banquet.  Entrée: Lobster and smoked salmon; Main: beef and guiness pie; Desert: 4 mini signature deserts – yummy!  We welcomed in 2012 with a toast and watched the London fireworks from the comfort of the living room.  I swear it is the first NYE dinner I have ever had with friends where I didn’t take my (or should I say Bumczyna’s) slippers off …classy!  
Our big day out of the week was to the Tower of London where we took the girls on a guided tour.  Considering how the girls were having sleeping troubles complaining of nightmares and death I’m not sure how sensible it was, but we went along anyway and any concerns I had were quickly abated when 1 week later Middle A would ask, “what does decapitated mean?”.  I abandonded my chicks for possibly the second time in 35 days to meet up with Big Nikkers at the Trout in Hammersmith.  We have been friends since about 1997 when we both worked for a US software company and it was just like old.  The real stand out change was that she was driving so we could actually walk out of the pub without propping each other up.  She had some great news about her family situation and so we did have 1 celebratory toast (I think I had 2!).  Big A took the girls to the Big Easy in Chelsea – his favourite restaurant in the world, to eat his favourite food, Buffalo Wings so it was a great day all round.  Other trips this week included a trip to the British Natural History Museum and La Mancha, one of my favourite restaurants and the best authentic Spanish tapas outside of Spain I’ve ever eaten at.  [La Mancha Website] Don’t go early though as the atmosphere is much better from around 8pm.  I’d forgotten how late Londoners eat (or should I say how early Queenslanders eat!)  
On the weekend they open up the Houses of Parliament for a guided tour so we trundled off to Westminster.  It was amazing and so interesting. I was so impressed with the guide’s knowledge and the building is so ornate and beautiful, they just don’t make buildings like that anymore and it is such a shame as it makes me think that we are not leaving future generations anything that will stand the test of time (apart from overt consumerism and pollution).  The girls were amazing and held it together for the full 60 minutes which I was really proud of.  They did start to get antsy with each other in the last few minutes but all in all for a subject matter so much advanced for their age I thought they were extremely attentive and well behaved.  Believe me they have been less so on other occasions!
Later on we caught up with one of Big A’s best friends and Little A’s godfather, Rapido.  His nickname was acquired from his legendary toilet habits but I’m sure Big A will fill readers in on this below.  We met up with Rapido and his beautiful family of wife and two girls for a session of ice skating and lunch at Hampton Court Palace.

The other big event of the week was a hair cut...


Our old mockers from home.
 It was fabulous to meet up with our old muckers from Brissy and have lunch at Carluccios in Covent Garden (across from an ice cream parlour called Snog) in Garrick Street. [Carluccios Website] Whilst there we watched some street entertainment in the square and checked in on Pineapple Studios just in case Louie needed some extra dancers  (the girls waited outside for Steve and I to finish our audition - any day now the phone will ring I just know it!).
Watching Street Theatre at Covent Garden










I wouldn’t say it’s like home at the Stormin’s family residence but let’s just say we have our own beds, baths and shoe area so it is looks like a duck, walks like a duck and sounds like a duck, chances are…… !  They are just the best possible hosts and we’ve embraced their hospitality – perhaps a little to much.  So, to give the guys a break we decided to head off to Paris for a few nights (as one does!).
 

Big A’s Perspecitive “

I’m home! I love this city like no other and we were greeted with the usual wet, cold and grey afternoon that prematurely fades to darkness covering you like an old woolen blanket.
The Stormin Ganorman’s  (consisting of Storms, Bumczyna, Zar & Pickle) met us at the door of their not unsubstantial London abode and following some proper hugs and kisses (i.e. not posh moi moi pecks!) we were led to our rooms on level 4…yeehaa…finally separate rooms for the kids!!

A quick note on this bloke I call Storms…..I met him in California about 20 years ago. He had just finished his masters at Trinity College in Dublin and before he started a ‘proper’ job he decided to join a few of his Irish friends in the US. Unbeknown to Storms his friends were living with a mate and I in a hovel called the ‘A frame’ in Huntington Beach. The friend of mine, Groin, just happened to be a model who was trying to break into the US …yep… grounds alone to hate the guy….but Groin was a genuinely lovely, lovely guy.
Storms’ initiation was driving Groin and I in our old beetle to the flea market. Storms begged us to drive that pile of junk….so who were we to break the poor little fellas heart?
Unfortunately Storms was subsequently arrested for driving an unroadworthy, unregistered car, without insurance or a license.  Driving at 25 miles per hour in the fast lane when your rear mudguard and engine cover fall off is definitely a case of bad luck but is bound to attract some attention! Wow…. the look of horror on his face was priceless….his bright career suddenly flashed in front of his teary eyes.
Also, naturally being a pasty little lad that was scared of the water Groin and I decided to take him out for a surf ….it took ages for his disheveled little frame to finally drag its way from the surf completely exhausted. In his own words, apparently the only way he had stayed afloat was to ‘grab onto a little boy’…having said that he was floundering around in knee deep surf…but Groin and I slept with one eye open that night all the same!

Having now arrived in London our body clocks for some reason took days to adjust which meant the kids were awake at 3 in the morning and consequently so were we…so much for separate rooms!
A couple of chums at The Dove
Storms and I headed to the Dove for a pint…god I love this pub. It had been my ‘local’ for 10 years and Storms hadn’t been back since I’d left. What a pub to call your local! 
My wish to take my girls on a tour of my favourite city on the planet was far outweighed by the Child Bride’s pre-occupation to shop….for ’absolute necessities’ only of course!
Finally however I did manage to drag them to the Tower of London, Natural History Museum, Houses Of Parliament and Hampton Court Palace…and I even managed to squeeze in a visit with the to the Big Easy….my favourite London Restaurant. ….god I love that place! [The Big Easy Website]



Middle A, Child Bride and Rapido (on ice)...
We also managed to catch up with Rapido, his wife, Coupon Queen and the rest of the Rapido family at Hampton Court Palace. We’d arranged to meet up and take the kids ice skating of al things. After excelling at that we all headed for the nearest pub for a well earned pint and some food.  
I’ve also known Rapido for close to 20 years, having also lived with him in the US and subsequently travelled through South and Central America with him. His ability (or lack thereof) with languages is legendary and surpassed only by the Child Brides…so travelling as we did without a map or a phrase book was really interesting. I cant remember the number of times Rapido ended up with something on his plate that bore no resemblance to what he though he ordered.
Rapido was also legendary when it came to number 2’s….on one occasion he got on a bus from Mexico city with a full set of clothes only to get off the bus in nothing but his shorts and runners…he’d  had a bad case of the ‘dodgies’ and had had to use the rest of his gear when the toilet paper on the bus had run out!
On another occasion in Honduras both of us were very ill with the ‘dodgies’. Staying on one of the Bay Islands, for 4 days we were in a dreadful state. Rapido went for a swim one day and couldn’t hold on… he valianty tried to outrun the brown slick he’d created and swim to shore….however,  he soon had what seemed like a thousand fish around him in a feeding frenzy…and worse still…2 swedish snorklers, ignorant to the cause of the frenzy, were following the fish! Needless to say, once we were feeling better (and 13 kilos lighter) we didn’t eat any fish from the island!
On another occasion whilst learning to ski in freezing sub-zero temperatures he got a case of the ‘dodgies’ as he got off the chairlift at the top of the mountain. In complete disregard for his personal own safety or for anyone else’s he attempted a speed skiing record to get down the mountain to the nearest toilet. Given he had never skiied before this must have been some sight indeed. Unfortunately for Rapido, just as he got the door open and relaxed, having conquered the mountain, he still had to battle with his ski suit, jeans, thermals and undies……suffice it to say, emerging 30 minutes later, only his ski suit had survived the contest.

So as you can imagine, catching up with Stormin and Rapido was an absolute thrill for me.

My enthusiasm for the place couldn’t even be blighted by the ineptness of my banks…3 times I had been into the branch to ask them to reset the PIN on my Natwest debit card and 3 times it had gone astray. My Barclays credit card was also not working but even though I was living in the UK everything had to be sent to my Australian address…where I obviously was not living…..but I was back in London so I was happy to put up with it. 

Sunday 15 January 2012

Week 4: (24 – 28th Dec) Las Vegas


The I-15 from LA to Vegas

The drive from Los Angeles to Las Vegas went down without incident so that was a plus.  The “living the dream” family at home had suggested we pull in to Peggy Sue’s 50 Diner but it is only 2.5 hours out from LA so we decided just to keep going.  We had to stop for petrol a bit closer to Vegas to fill up the hire car and I decided to complete the transaction while Big A filled up the car.  Funny because in the States you pay for the petrol before you get it.  So filling up the car required me to over estimate how much our beastly Corolla would need to “fill er up”.  I put $50 down and it only came to $36, apparently we will only be charged the $36 – apparently! 
Driving into Vegas is surreal.  So much desert and nothingness to suddenly encounter this massive sprawl of highrises. 
We arrived on the 24th December expecting to find a very over the top Christmas experience in Vegas but it was quite the opposite.  We stayed at Bally’s in the North Tower which, at US $80 p/n was great value and although the hotel was busy, the room was quiet.  Surprisingly, it had no evidence of Christmas anywhere and having just come from Disneyland and LA where it was literally on every corner, it was a bit surprising.  When we spoke to a staff member they explained that Vegas is actually the place a lot of non Christians visit over the holiday season who don’t celebrate Christmas. Apparently there was a dedicated Christmas area somewhere in one of the casinos but we didn’t find it. 
Our Christmas lunch consisted of a visit to the Village Buffet at Rio.  Our research both on line and on the ground had lead us to believe that it was the number 1 seafood buffet in Vegas.  As seafood is our traditional Aussie Christmas lunch we were very excited to be able to keep that tradition alive half way around the world, 280 miles from the sea (what were we thinking).  Some of the food was lovely, like the snow crab legs and cajun fish but Oh My God where did they get the oysters from?  I swear they tasted like they had been retrieved from the Vegas sewers.  The prawns and mini crayfish were so small and the rest of it was average.  We took our quickly deflated elation and drowned it in 2 bottles of wine while the girls played with their American girls, DSI and drawing pads.  The waitress actually asked us to leave 3 hours later as the queue waiting to be seated was now +70 people deep!
So much has been documented about Las Vegas it’s hard to think of anything that would surprise or interest any reader of this blog, however the place is still overwhelmingly larger than life when you are there.  The casinos are big and bright and the number of restaurants, bars, shops and people are extraordinary. One thing that, in my naivety, I didn’t quite realize was how much exploitation of the female body there was.  Everywhere you looked there were billboards of women in diamond encrusted bikinis or just a thong and on every street there were men and women handing single (and not so single) men cards with information about how to get a lady for the night. I was able to ignore it until one day when we were on the strip waiting for Big A and the girls were picking up call girl cards from the street.  One was extremely explicit and I lost it, insisting the girls through the filth away (I’m such a prude).  My shock was probably compounded by the fact that I was standing watching a man seeking donations to help the homeless on behalf of the Salvation Army. 
Joe's Stone Crabs - Yummy
Over the few days we were there, apart from the Village Buffet,  we also ate at Le Café and Le Provencal in Paris casino, the Garden Grill in Circus Circus and Joes Stone Crabs in The Forum off Caesars Palace.   Joes was the standout and a seriously great restaurant worthy of all the praise.  Darryll made us feel extremely welcome (even Little and Middle A).  We had the signature, crab claws and they didn’t disappoint, coming as close to mud crab as I’ve ever tasted.  The girls meals included an amazing hot chocolate fudge brownie with ice-cream for dessert which was so wickedly good and at $8.95 for the entire 2 courses and a drink, great value.  
We contemplated a flight to the Grand Canyon and in hindsight I’m disappointed we didn’t do it, but Big A had seen it many times before, our budget was running in deficient and there was little interest from Middle and Little A so we gave it a miss.  In fact we didn’t do any organized trips or shows but chose instead to just walk around the strip. 
By walking 2.5kms up from the strip, we came across Circus Circus, a dirty smelly Casino with an amusement park in the middle of it and a Circus show performed each hour.  It was awful but it did have a pretty good restaurant called the Garden Grill that had all you could eat ribs.  On our way back from Circus Circus we came across a mock ice-skating rink at the Venetian.  The rink was made of a plastic resin that emulated ice but was not as slippery and the girls loved it.  So much that we went back again the following day.   The Cosmopolitan is the newest Casino and absolutely stunning and polished.  Caesars Palace and the Bellagio are still extremely impressive and well worth a wander around just to get a sense of their grandeur.
As I said earlier we didnt see any shows and that’s probably got a lot to do with Big A who wasn’t impressed by the line up. Aparently Human Nature (yes the Aussie group), Donny and Marie Osmond and Matt Goss (from the “when will I, will I be famous?” duo Bross) just don’t cut it for the big fella.  He did actually ask me on a number of occasions “why aren’t the big acts here?”  “Why aren’t the likes of Elvis, Michael Jackson or Sinatra here?”  At first I didn’t have the heart to tell him they were all dead but in the end I had to. This didn’t stop him from asking.  Even when Celine Dion came back after a short Christmas break he still wasn’t happy – oh well!  Very late on the 28th December we flew via British Airways to London – yippee…..


Big A’s Perspective   
Vegas…it’s a strange place….somehow I seem  to have a great time each time I go but I can’t seem to understand why.
I’d forgotten how awful the trip is to Vegas from LA….double it if you have little kids….are we there yet, I’m bored, I need to go to the toilet etc etc…and that was just the wife!
Anyway, after about 4 hours we hit the town of Prim, Nevada. What is this place? I have no idea why anyone would build anything here and even less idea why anyone would stop there. An extinct hotel/casino with a disused rollercoaster are interesting relics of seemingly better times …part of the ‘tosser-world’ fun park no doubt.
Anyway, a quick pit stop for fuel and some drinks and we set off for Vegas.
Yee..bloody..ha….Vegas…finally….and just as I was preparing to relax…. a 40 minute traffic jam to get from the highway to our hotel.
 I left the girls at the foyer and headed to the airport to drop the car off…Alamo didn’t have a drop off place on the massive, expensive hotels on the strip!
Airports are not usually the easiest places to navigate around at the best of times but try getting t the new car rental return terminal….wow…it would be easier to find platform 9.5 and catch a train to Hogwarts!
Anyway after a $20 cab fare back to Vegas from the airport I entered the Bally’s foyer with high hopes. However I couldn’t get to my room as I was told that I needed ID as the Child Bride didn’t answer the phone in the room.
However, this was a minor hiccup as within an hour later I was laying on my bed in the hotel room listening to the girls fighting.
I’d always remembered Vegas as being a cheap place to stay and even cheaper place to eat and drink. The casinos offered amazing deals on both accommodation, food and drinks to get you there and keep you there. ……Not any more.
Whilst our room was great, food is now expensive.
Another thing…Vegas is supposed to be a mecca for entertainers…. I saw the Hagler v Leonard fight here. Elvis lived here. Sinatra, Dean Martin…..but for those poor buggers that had ventured to Vegas over the Xmas break they were subjected to the likes of Matt Goss and Human Nature….I’d rather poke my eye out with a needle and give the money to the homeless!
Whilst we did see a few Americans, the whole place is full of Mexicans, Chinese and Indians…it was like being in a shopping centre food court…but wow, how much money did those Mexicans have…by the number of shopping bags they had Abercrombie & Fitch did very, very well out of them!
Caesars Palace Opulence 
Some of the hotels were amazing in a good way…like wow the Bellagio fountain is amazing. Others were amazing in others ways ….like wow this casino is full of people that haven’t had a wash in a week, or wow this carpet hasn’t been cleaned in 30 years….places like the Imperial Palace and Circus Circus are just awful!
I don’t like shopping…no…that’s not correct. I don’t like wandering around shops in an aimless, unfocussed manner. I know what I want to buy; I find a place to buy it; I go there; I buy it. I don’t go to the shops to find something I might want to buy.
And there is a chain of stores in the states that I love….it’s called Ross and there was one in Vegas. It’s like a store that sells out of date food…but they actually sell high end brand names for virtually nothing. Ok, they might not have an enormous range of sizes, styles or colours and some styles might be a touch ‘last decade’…but they were cheap.
The clientele might not be the wealthiest but for me this just adds to the experience…..homeless types in Ralph Lauren…I love it! However, the Child Bride only allowed me to buy some socks there!
As for the Xmas buffet we endured…it didn’t start well. We sat down and the extended family of what I can only assume to be ‘competition’ buffet eaters sat next to us. Even the two babies with them ‘chain-ate’ the whole time.
I definitely think there should be a sign that tells these people they don’t have to
pile their plate to the ceiling with everything available on every trip? Sorry, but its like feeding time at the zoo!
The tours to the canyon are expensive and if you go by any other means than flying expect to spend 90% of your day in a bus getting there and back. We decided to save our money, allow the girls an adventure to savour on their own time in the future.
As for gambling….the Child Bride got within about 10 feet of a table at one point and I spent the whole $5 that was provided to me by the hotel… in about 3 minutes. ..and that was that. I don’t have enough money to happily give it away to people I don’t even know without at least relieving my guilt or getting a poppy or a pin in return.
So overall….I have to admit I enjoyed it…. and I didn’t seem to have the same aversion that my wife did to images of naked women being flaunted in my face every minute of every day. ..sure its sleazy and I don’t really get the place….but its easy and interesting.