Pana Shot

Pana Shot
Hippy Fish on St Jon's Beach

Thursday 21 June 2012

Weeks 20 - 26 School Holidays and Magical May...


Hard at work on the balcony
The school holidays started on the 23rd April and ran for 2.2 weeks.  We had already booked a two bedroom beach house in Eze Sur Mer which lies between Cap D’Ail and Beaulieu, near Monaco.  The area is most famous for it’s more celebrated holiday makers namely The Edge and Bono who, along with some billionaire Russians, have holiday homes there. 
On the beach at Eze
The house was called Flanc D’Roche and was located 200 meters from the nearest road, just above the train line, over looking the Med and a little semi private beach.  The place had been specially located by the ever talented travelling sloth (oops, sleuth) Big A who knows how to uncover the best accommodation in the most perfect location with picturesque views.  So it came as no surprise that our little semi private beach also doubled as the local nudist beach.  Unfortunately for Big A, most of the nudes were of the male persuasion so our first exciting trip to the beach was abruptly met by a resounding shrill from Big A (who, oddly enough seemed to be positively skipping along only moments beforehand) of “fall back, fall back”.   Determined, and to be fair, completely ignorant to the eye candy that lay ahead, I took the lead and pushed forward.  The girls, unaccustomed to free flowing willies en-mass, were very funny and completely inappropriate which only made the situation more comical.  It’s odd how we all (well Big A and I) turn into 5 year olds with things like nudity, people falling over and the sound (but not the smell) of people passing wind!
The walk from the road to the house.
In addition to the local scenery (which we continued to “enjoy” on a regular basis), the beach house had breathtaking uninterrupted views of the Mediterranean Ocean.  The house was so close to the sea that you could hear the waves through the day and night, something I have always considered to be one of the best sounds in the world.  The owner, known here as Monsieur Danseur was staying the apartment attached to the house and we had the chance to hear all about the area, it’s residents and himself.  Such a lovely and interesting guy who was at one time one of the world’s best male ballet dancers who performed with Nureyev, Fonteyn and Baryshnikov.  Since retiring from dance he has worked for billionaires organising, amongst other things, their 3kgs of Boluga Caviar to be transported in their private plane from Russia to Monaco and onto South Africa (as you do) .  It made us realize just how so many people in Europe seem to have a great story to tell.  Either they have been notable in their day, know famous people intimately and/or have a life story that would rival a Bronte or Dickens novel.
It was really great catching up with Monsieur Danseur and we could have talked to him all day but we had too much to see and do.  We hadn’t been to Nice yet so we took a day trip to Nice, spending most of the time walking around the Monday morning markets, taking the girls on a train ride around the old town and having lunch at the seafood restaurant “Le Grand Bleu”.  It was quite windy so we didn’t spend much time on the Promenade Des Anglais but you could see that it was a beautiful stretch of beach that went right along the front of the city.
Outside Eze Les Roses
Promenade Des Anglais - Nice
Whilst at Eze we also celebrated my birthday.  After stalking Bono at his beach house “Eze Les Roses” Big A took us on another one of his, “let’s see how much I can p*ss the girls off this time” excursions to find the nearby beach side restaurant he’d read about.  We walked about 1km along a large pebble beach (in sandals) until we came upon the place only to find that due to the relentless wind, and therefore no customers, they decided to close early! So with our bellies now positively growling, we headed back to the marina in Beaulieu.  The normal cheap and cheerful carafe was replaced by a half decent bottle of rosè, the location was great and the girls were on their best behavior, so we all had a lovely time.  We ate at a few restaurants over the week including African Queen (poor service, very expensive and average food), La Maison du Beaulieu (good food, great service but expensive) both in Beaulieu and Le Grand Bleu (good value seafood restaurant and location, right in the old town of Nice).
Jimmy's Killer Prawns

When we got back to Valbonne the Kritslammers recriprocated a playdate for little and middle A and afterwards we met up at Jimmy’s Killer Prawns for dinner.  The restaurant puts on an all you can eat prawn night for about €30.  It was a great night made especially enjoyable by watching Big A and Senior Kritslammer challenge each other in just how many prawns they could put away before causing themselves an injury. 
Goodbye Nice
A few days later I was off to London.  It was a birthday gift from Big A and the girls.  Having spent the last 5 months together 24/7 it was weird being apart but my friends in London did a sterling job of keeping me from wallowing in the despair of separation that could have quickly taken hold (that one’s for you Big A).  I even managed to add to our bag collection which Big A rejoiced for days afterwards about (if you’re a regular follower of our blogs you can just imagine this happening - NOT).  He even had the girls asking me why on earth I needed “another” bag.  Apparently the argument that it was a family heirloom didn’t work on them either!!! 
Hello London
The stand out restaurant in London was La Trompette.  It is a Michelin Star restaurant just off Chiswick High Street.  We all had the Chateaubriand and it was one of the best meals I’ve had on the entire trip.  We went on a Thursday night and although I didn’t have it, they did have a £19 fix price menu for 2 courses – which I thought was great value. 
My last night in London was spent listening to the fabulous news of one of my dearest friends who has been trying to have a baby for many years.  She is one of the most beautiful people I know and her story is heartbreaking.  Suffice to say that after many agonizing years with unsuccessful attempts to fall pregnant she and her husband are finally at the end of the adoption process and we toasted the news of their baby girl by the river in Richmond.  I can’t wait to meet her and see the new mum and dad in action.  After 4 glorious days in London I returned with a renewed love for the great city and determination to try and convince the rest of the family that London is where we should be basing ourselves after our stint in Greece.
Cannes Film Festival - Amateur Red Carpet
Cannes Film Festival - "Bunny"
The month of May started off slowly once I’d arrived back from London.  Big A and I got into a routine of running (for Big A) and yoga (for me) in the morning and tennis in the afternoon.  On the 12th May we moved downstairs into the cave for a week while our flat was rented out.  We met up with the Kritslammers for dinner at the Valbonnaise Pizzeria and drinks in the square and generally pushed a lot of business towards the Café Des Arcades.  By the middle of May things started to pickup with the Cannes Film Festival and Monaco Historic and Formula 1 Grand Prixs.
Cannes has become one of my favourite cities.  It has enough restaurants, shopping, beaches and buzz to make it enjoyable on a number of different levels.  The Cannes Film Festival just lifts the buzz and magnifies it ten fold.  We didn’t see a lot of people from the Hollywood scene but we did manage to be in Cannes on the night Brad Pitt was in town.  I managed to convince Big A that it would be fun to see Mr Pitt walk the red carpet so we perched ourselves on the steps of Chanel and waited 1 hour for a 10 minute glimpse.  Big A was not impressed, but hey at least we can say “we saw Brad Pitt on the red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival”.  For me it was another tick off the bucket list and there was another one to follow.
Le Bar Americain (Post lunch)
Big A had toddled off by himself to the Historic Grand Prix in Monaco when we had our week in the cave.  We could have taken the girls and all gone but decided Big A would have a more enjoyable time going solo on this one.  It ended up being quite chilly so I’m glad we stayed at home.  The real excitement was to follow two weeks later with the Formula One Grand Prix.
Salle Empire in Hotel Du Paris
We’d been in contact with the Living the Dreamers from Brisbane earlier in the year and knew they were arriving in Monaco for 1 day on Thursday the 24th May.  After carefully analyzing the Grand Prix dates we decided to kill two birds with one stone and meet the Living the Dreamers in Monaco for lunch during the F1 practice sessions.  This way we could have a truly memorable day by booking a lunch at the famous Hotel Du Paris in the Salle Empire, get an amazing seat in the grandstand at Casino Square and be as close as possible to the F1 cars as they did their practice laps twice throughout the day.  After dropping Big A off at the grandstand I met the Living the Dreamers at the entrance to Hotel Du Paris around 10.30am.  The lunch didn’t open until 12 so we went in to Le Bar Americain where we got a window seat about 2 meters from the track.  We asked for a drinks menu only to be told there wasn’t one but the waiter gave us his.  The cheapest beer was 30 Euros and the cheapest bottle of wine was 140 Euros.  We just about dies but you only do this kind of thing once and our seats in Le Bar Americain were priceless.  We headed into the Salle Empire around 12.30 where, in an attempt to get our money's worth we downed an impressive amount of red and white wine (even Big A who hates red wine got stuck in).  Suffice to say that it was a day that will go down as one of my top 10 although some of the afternoon is a bit hazy!  Especially the bit where we had the audacity to get the staff to "reserve" our un-reservable table right next to the window in Le Bar Americain in case we wanted to continue our post lunch merriment.  There was also a mysterious red wine "spray" up Big A's white sleeved shirt and the fact that we forgot to change trains at Nice so we went all the way back to Monte Carlo... and back again!  Yes indeed it was a very good day.  Alas now we are looking down the barrel of our final month in Valbonne.  


View from the Grandstand of Casino Square
Big A’s perspective:


First of all….the beach house in Eze Sur Mer – a fantastic hideaway so close to Monaco we could have walked there. Not that we did of course. The children and child Bride seem to have lost the use of their lower limbs and wont walk anywhere. 
So back to Eze. I just don’t get the whole nude sunbathing thing, especially when those that appear to partake in this activity are so old they have to be careful walking on the beach to ensure they don’t tread on their scrotums! Although we were fortunate enough to have a 40-ish couple plant themselves next to us in all their glory. Sorry but there are some areas of your body where factor 50 just cant be applied….and definitely not on the beach in front of ‘spectators’!  Lying on their sides looking at each other but top to toe she positively beamed at the prospect of exposing her clean-shaven vaj to anyone that ventured onto the beach whilst he even raised one leg to give the world a more obvious view of his miniature tackle.

He didn't even seem to be put off when one of my kids shouted out to me that "that man has a 'doodle' just like yours Dad... only much, much, much, MUCH smaller.  Ok, maybe she only said ‘much’ once!

As for Bono’s house…..I’m sure it’s a lovely place and I was disappointed I didn’t get asked around for a beer and sing-song but if I had his money I wouldn’t choose Eze for a holiday home…right on the beach it maybe but it’s a stoney beach after all….and the Russians…they will buy anything as long as its tacky and expensive and another Russian wants to buy it!


And far from receiving any acolodaes for my attempts to do something nice for the Child Bride on her birthday I received grief again …this time it was obviously my fault that a force 10 gale was howling on the coastline and the restaurants had all shut for the day. We did get to see Bono’s ‘back door’ however…that alone I thought would have pleased her even if it meant a short stroll down on the beach…but it didn’t! I have obviously spoilt the Child Bride so much to date that her expectations are so massive when it comes to her birthday that I have no chance of ever meeting them.

Although she did receive a trip to London on her own for a few days…not bad eh girls!!! A much needed break for everyone…even the people in Valbonne gave a sigh of relief! The girls and I had a fantastic few days. We went to Marineland in Antibes, Crazy Golf and for a fishing trip to the Brague…yes they even walked. Amazing what they will do when their mother isn’t around!
Unfortunately our respite was short-lived….the Child Bride returned with some small presents for us which was nice….but failed to reduce my absolute dismay when she exhibited the present she had bought herself in London…just what we needed  on our backpacking adventure around the world…a Louis Vouton handbag…unbelievable…how does that woman’s mind work!!

The month of May for me was all about the Historic and Formula 1 Grand Prix. Unfortunately my enthusiasm wasn’t shared by the rest of the pack however. The Historic GP of Monaco is fabulous and inexpensive. A 10 euro train trip to Monaco and a 40 euro seat was all I needed. I made some sandwiches the night before and packed myself some fruit, a bottle of water, some factor 50 and a hat. Unfortunately I didn’t require the hat or the sunscreen as it was overcast, quite cold and actually rained. I just wish my dad could have been there as he would have absolutely loved it. What a day!

In between the Historic GP and the F1 GP I had to endure the Cannes Film Festival. I thought I had done enough by taking her out to lunch in Cannes and a quick walk along the Croisette and past all of the film festival ‘stuff’….but no….we had to go back again…..and this time whilst at the restaurant she received an SMS informing her that Brad Pitt was to be walking the red carpet that evening….so we had to rush back to pick up the girls form school and then rush back to Cannes in time to see the man himself for a fleeting 5 minutes. Luckily there were only another 5000 people there to see him so it was a very intimate meeting…. and even though we were a football field away from him with 8 palm trees, a truck and 90 cameramen obscuring our view…apparently it was worth it and the Child Bride left Cannes a happy girl!

Things were a little more complicated for the F1 GP…maybe the catalyst for that was the fact the Child Bride wanted to come to the F1 GP. To give you some sort of idea just as to how different my Historic GP experience was to the F1 GP experience….we spent 6 weeks looking for an outfit for her for the F1 GP…. she unfortunately forgot to pick her pants up from the shop where they had to be altered so couldn’t wear her ‘GP outfit’…much to my subtle amusement!!…so after all that she had to wear something she had in her pack anyway.
And whereas my day at the Historic GP had cost a total of 50 euros (including the money I DIDN’T spend on an outfit!!) …the Child Bride-assisted F1 experience was slightly more expensive…..1200 euros!!!

Having said that …wow….what a day. A wonderful seat in the ‘B’ Grandstand at Casino Square, lunch in the Salle Empire and a few outrageously expensive beers and wines at the Bar Americain…..worth every penny! Catching up with the ‘Living the Dreamers’ was brilliant. What a great couple….although I have to agree with the Bulimba Bitcheratzi - they do tend to travel a bit too much for my liking! Unfortunately we said goodbye far to quickly… Mr ‘Living the Dream’ had to rush off back to their cruise ship with a case of the dodgies…he said it must have been something he ate on board the ship…that’s what happens when you take one of those cheap wine appreciation cruises folks…they travel too much anyway!  It must have been a great day though as the Child Bride and I spent 3 hours getting home for a journey that shouldn’t have taken more than an hour….and although I did have a white shirt covered in splattered red wine…her singing on the train was obviously far more offensive!