Hard at work on the balcony |
The school
holidays started on the 23rd April and ran for 2.2 weeks. We had already booked a two bedroom beach
house in Eze Sur Mer which lies between Cap D’Ail and Beaulieu, near Monaco. The area is most famous for it’s more
celebrated holiday makers namely The Edge and Bono who, along with some
billionaire Russians, have holiday homes there.
On the beach at Eze |
The house was
called Flanc D’Roche and was located 200 meters from the nearest road, just
above the train line, over looking the Med and a little semi private
beach. The place had been specially
located by the ever talented travelling sloth (oops, sleuth) Big A who knows
how to uncover the best accommodation in the most perfect location with
picturesque views. So it came as no
surprise that our little semi private beach also doubled as the local nudist
beach. Unfortunately for Big A, most of
the nudes were of the male persuasion so our first exciting trip to the beach
was abruptly met by a resounding shrill from Big A (who, oddly enough seemed to
be positively skipping along only moments beforehand) of “fall back, fall
back”. Determined, and to be fair,
completely ignorant to the eye candy that lay ahead, I took the lead and pushed
forward. The girls, unaccustomed to free
flowing willies en-mass, were very funny and completely inappropriate which
only made the situation more comical.
It’s odd how we all (well Big A and I) turn into 5 year olds with things
like nudity, people falling over and the sound (but not the smell) of people
passing wind!
The walk from the road to the house. |
In addition to
the local scenery (which we continued to “enjoy” on a regular basis), the beach
house had breathtaking uninterrupted views of the Mediterranean Ocean. The house was so close to the sea that you
could hear the waves through the day and night, something I have always
considered to be one of the best sounds in the world. The owner, known here as Monsieur Danseur was
staying the apartment attached to the house and we had the chance to hear all
about the area, it’s residents and himself.
Such a lovely and interesting guy who was at one time one of the world’s
best male ballet dancers who performed with Nureyev, Fonteyn and Baryshnikov. Since retiring from dance he has worked for
billionaires organising, amongst other things, their 3kgs of Boluga Caviar to
be transported in their private plane from Russia to Monaco and onto South
Africa (as you do) . It made us realize
just how so many people in Europe seem to have a great story to tell. Either they have been notable in their day,
know famous people intimately and/or have a life story that would rival a Bronte
or Dickens novel.
It was really
great catching up with Monsieur Danseur and we could have talked to him all day
but we had too much to see and do. We
hadn’t been to Nice yet so we took a day trip to Nice, spending most of the
time walking around the Monday morning markets, taking the girls on a train
ride around the old town and having lunch at the seafood restaurant “Le Grand
Bleu”. It was quite windy so we didn’t
spend much time on the Promenade Des Anglais but you could see that it was a
beautiful stretch of beach that went right along the front of the city.
Outside Eze Les Roses |
Promenade Des Anglais - Nice |
Whilst at Eze we
also celebrated my birthday. After
stalking Bono at his beach house “Eze Les Roses” Big A took us on another one
of his, “let’s see how much I can p*ss the girls off this time” excursions to
find the nearby beach side restaurant he’d read about. We walked about 1km along a large pebble
beach (in sandals) until we came upon the place only to find that due to the
relentless wind, and therefore no customers, they decided to close early! So
with our bellies now positively growling, we headed back to the marina in Beaulieu. The normal cheap and cheerful carafe was
replaced by a half decent bottle of rosè, the location was great and the girls
were on their best behavior, so we all had a lovely time. We ate at a few restaurants over the week including
African Queen (poor service, very expensive and average food), La Maison du
Beaulieu (good food, great service but expensive) both in Beaulieu and Le Grand
Bleu (good value seafood restaurant and location, right in the old town of
Nice).
Jimmy's Killer Prawns |
When we got back
to Valbonne the Kritslammers recriprocated a playdate for little and middle A
and afterwards we met up at Jimmy’s Killer Prawns for dinner. The restaurant puts on an all you can eat
prawn night for about €30. It was a
great night made especially enjoyable by watching Big A and Senior Kritslammer
challenge each other in just how many prawns they could put away before causing
themselves an injury.
Goodbye Nice |
A few days later I was off to London. It was a birthday gift from Big A and the girls. Having spent the last 5 months together 24/7 it
was weird being apart but my friends in London did a sterling job of keeping me
from wallowing in the despair of separation that could have quickly taken hold (that
one’s for you Big A). I even managed to
add to our bag collection which Big A rejoiced for days afterwards about (if
you’re a regular follower of our blogs you can just imagine this happening -
NOT). He even had the girls asking me
why on earth I needed “another” bag.
Apparently the argument that it was a family heirloom didn’t work on
them either!!!
Hello London |
The stand out restaurant in London was La
Trompette. It is a Michelin Star
restaurant just off Chiswick High Street.
We all had the Chateaubriand and it was one of the best meals I’ve had
on the entire trip. We went on a
Thursday night and although I didn’t have it, they did have a £19 fix price
menu for 2 courses – which I thought was great value.
My last night in London was spent listening to the
fabulous news of one of my dearest friends who has been trying to have a baby
for many years. She is one of the most
beautiful people I know and her story is heartbreaking. Suffice to say that after many agonizing
years with unsuccessful attempts to fall pregnant she and her husband are
finally at the end of the adoption process and we toasted the news of their
baby girl by the river in Richmond. I
can’t wait to meet her and see the new mum and dad in action. After 4 glorious days in London I returned
with a renewed love for the great city and determination to try and convince
the rest of the family that London is where we should be basing ourselves after
our stint in Greece.
Cannes Film Festival - Amateur Red Carpet |
Cannes Film Festival - "Bunny" |
The month of May started off slowly once I’d arrived
back from London. Big A and I got into a
routine of running (for Big A) and yoga (for me) in the morning and tennis in
the afternoon. On the 12th
May we moved downstairs into the cave for a week while our flat was rented
out. We met up with the Kritslammers for
dinner at the Valbonnaise Pizzeria and drinks in the square and generally
pushed a lot of business towards the Café Des Arcades. By the middle of May things started to pickup
with the Cannes Film Festival and Monaco Historic and Formula 1 Grand Prixs.
Cannes has become one of my favourite cities. It has enough restaurants, shopping, beaches
and buzz to make it enjoyable on a number of different levels. The Cannes Film Festival just lifts the buzz
and magnifies it ten fold. We didn’t see
a lot of people from the Hollywood scene but we did manage to be in Cannes on
the night Brad Pitt was in town. I
managed to convince Big A that it would be fun to see Mr Pitt walk the red
carpet so we perched ourselves on the steps of Chanel and waited 1 hour for a
10 minute glimpse. Big A was not impressed,
but hey at least we can say “we saw Brad Pitt on the red carpet at the Cannes
Film Festival”. For me it was another
tick off the bucket list and there was another one to follow.
Le Bar Americain (Post lunch) |
Big A had toddled off by himself to the Historic
Grand Prix in Monaco when we had our week in the cave. We could have taken the girls and all gone
but decided Big A would have a more enjoyable time going solo on this one. It ended up being quite chilly so I’m glad we
stayed at home. The real excitement was
to follow two weeks later with the Formula One Grand Prix.
Salle Empire in Hotel Du Paris |
We’d been in
contact with the Living the Dreamers from Brisbane earlier in the year and knew
they were arriving in Monaco for 1 day on Thursday the 24th
May. After carefully analyzing the Grand
Prix dates we decided to kill two birds with one stone and meet the Living the
Dreamers in Monaco for lunch during the F1 practice sessions. This way we could have a truly memorable day
by booking a lunch at the famous Hotel Du Paris in the Salle Empire, get an
amazing seat in the grandstand at Casino Square and be as close as possible to
the F1 cars as they did their practice laps twice throughout the day. After dropping Big A off at the grandstand I
met the Living the Dreamers at the entrance to Hotel Du Paris around 10.30am. The lunch didn’t open until 12 so we went in
to Le Bar Americain where we got a window seat about 2 meters from the
track. We asked for a drinks menu only
to be told there wasn’t one but the waiter gave us his. The cheapest beer was 30 Euros and the cheapest bottle of wine was 140 Euros. We just about dies but you only do this kind of thing once and our seats in Le Bar Americain were priceless. We headed into the Salle Empire around 12.30 where, in an attempt to get our money's worth we downed an impressive amount of red and white wine (even Big A who hates red wine got stuck in). Suffice to say that it was a day that will go down as one of my top 10 although some of the afternoon is a bit hazy! Especially the bit where we had the audacity to get the staff to "reserve" our un-reservable table right next to the window in Le Bar Americain in case we wanted to continue our post lunch merriment. There was also a mysterious red wine "spray" up Big A's white sleeved shirt and the fact that we forgot to change trains at Nice so we went all the way back to Monte Carlo... and back again! Yes indeed it was a very good day. Alas now we are looking down the barrel of our final month in Valbonne.
View from the Grandstand of Casino Square |
Big A’s perspective:
First of all….the beach house in Eze Sur Mer – a fantastic hideaway so
close to Monaco we could have walked there. Not that we did of course. The
children and child Bride seem to have lost the use of their lower limbs and
wont walk anywhere.
So back to Eze. I just don’t get the whole nude sunbathing thing,
especially when those that appear to partake in this activity are so old they
have to be careful walking on the beach to ensure they don’t tread on their
scrotums! Although we were fortunate enough to have a 40-ish couple plant
themselves next to us in all their glory. Sorry but there are some areas of
your body where factor 50 just cant be applied….and definitely not on the beach
in front of ‘spectators’! Lying on their sides looking at each other but top to toe she positively
beamed at the prospect of exposing her clean-shaven vaj to anyone that ventured
onto the beach whilst he even raised one leg to give the world a more obvious
view of his miniature tackle.
He didn't even seem to be put off when one of my kids shouted out to me that "that man has a 'doodle' just like yours Dad... only much, much, much, MUCH smaller. Ok, maybe she only said ‘much’ once!
As for Bono’s house…..I’m sure it’s a lovely place and I was
disappointed I didn’t get asked around for a beer and sing-song but if I had
his money I wouldn’t choose Eze for a holiday home…right on the beach it maybe
but it’s a stoney beach after all….and the Russians…they will buy anything as
long as its tacky and expensive and another Russian wants to buy it!
And far from receiving any acolodaes for my attempts to do something
nice for the Child Bride on her birthday I received grief again …this time it
was obviously my fault that a force 10 gale was howling on the coastline and
the restaurants had all shut for the day. We did get to see Bono’s ‘back door’
however…that alone I thought would have pleased her even if it meant a short
stroll down on the beach…but it didn’t! I have obviously spoilt the Child Bride
so much to date that her expectations are so massive when it comes to her
birthday that I have no chance of ever meeting them.
Although she did receive a
trip to London on her own for a few days…not bad eh girls!!! A much needed
break for everyone…even the people in Valbonne gave a sigh of relief! The girls
and I had a fantastic few days. We went to Marineland in Antibes, Crazy Golf
and for a fishing trip to the Brague…yes they even walked. Amazing what they
will do when their mother isn’t around!
Unfortunately our respite
was short-lived….the Child Bride returned with some small presents for us which
was nice….but failed to reduce my absolute dismay when she exhibited the
present she had bought herself in London…just what we needed on our backpacking adventure around the
world…a Louis Vouton handbag…unbelievable…how does that woman’s mind work!!
The month of May for me
was all about the Historic and Formula 1 Grand Prix. Unfortunately my
enthusiasm wasn’t shared by the rest of the pack however. The Historic GP of
Monaco is fabulous and inexpensive. A 10 euro train trip to Monaco and a 40
euro seat was all I needed. I made some sandwiches the night before and packed
myself some fruit, a bottle of water, some factor 50 and a hat. Unfortunately I
didn’t require the hat or the sunscreen as it was overcast, quite cold and
actually rained. I just wish my dad could have been there as he would have
absolutely loved it. What a day!
In between the Historic GP
and the F1 GP I had to endure the Cannes Film Festival. I thought I had done
enough by taking her out to lunch in Cannes and a quick walk along the Croisette
and past all of the film festival ‘stuff’….but no….we had to go back
again…..and this time whilst at the restaurant she received an SMS informing
her that Brad Pitt was to be walking the red carpet that evening….so we had to
rush back to pick up the girls form school and then rush back to Cannes in time
to see the man himself for a fleeting 5 minutes. Luckily there were only
another 5000 people there to see him so it was a very intimate meeting…. and
even though we were a football field away from him with 8 palm trees, a truck
and 90 cameramen obscuring our view…apparently it was worth it and the Child
Bride left Cannes a happy girl!
Things were a little more
complicated for the F1 GP…maybe the catalyst for that was the fact the Child
Bride wanted to come to the F1 GP. To give you some sort of idea just as to how
different my Historic GP experience was to the F1 GP experience….we spent 6
weeks looking for an outfit for her for the F1 GP…. she unfortunately forgot to
pick her pants up from the shop where they had to be altered so couldn’t wear
her ‘GP outfit’…much to my subtle amusement!!…so after all that she had to wear
something she had in her pack anyway.
And whereas my day at the
Historic GP had cost a total of 50 euros (including the money I DIDN’T spend on
an outfit!!) …the Child Bride-assisted F1 experience was slightly more
expensive…..1200 euros!!!
Having said that …wow….what a day. A wonderful seat in the ‘B’ Grandstand
at Casino Square, lunch in the Salle Empire and a few outrageously expensive
beers and wines at the Bar Americain…..worth every penny! Catching up with the
‘Living the Dreamers’ was brilliant. What a great couple….although I have to
agree with the Bulimba Bitcheratzi - they do tend to travel a bit too much for
my liking! Unfortunately we said goodbye far to quickly… Mr ‘Living the Dream’
had to rush off back to their cruise ship with a case of the dodgies…he said it
must have been something he ate on board the ship…that’s what happens when you
take one of those cheap wine appreciation cruises folks…they travel too much
anyway! It must have been a great day
though as the Child Bride and I spent 3 hours getting home for a journey that
shouldn’t have taken more than an hour….and although I did have a white shirt
covered in splattered red wine…her singing on the train was obviously far more
offensive!